Reader Question: Basics

Q: If people become zombies by being bitten, where does the first zombie come from?

A: I’m not a doctor, but I assume it happens like any other virus. I know Solanum (my working theory) spreads through bodily fluids, but I would think it would start with a mutation of a lesser virus. By bodily fluids I mean saliva from a bite wound or just rubbing up against a bloody zombie with your own bloody fist. Also, I’ve heard people ask whether eating a zombie would have adverse effects, and I assure you – IT WOULD. Also also, I’ve been looking for information regarding necrophiliac activities with zombies, but can’t find ANYTHING (although again, I can assure you, it’s not a good idea). What do you guys think about zombie love?

Q: Do people who are already dead become zombies, or do they have to get the virus while they’re alive?

A: Dead people definitely do not magically reanimate. First of all, the virus needs a working brain to survive, so a skeleton’s not just going to turn into a zombie. Even the freshly dead, however, do not contract the disease. It isn’t airborne, so it doesn’t spread underground, and even if a zombie chewed on a corpse (which it wouldn’t) a dead brain can’t sustain the virus.

Q: What happens to zombies underwater?

A: I think I’ve already addressed this somewhere, but everyone seems fascinated by the idea. Look, they can’t swim, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. They can barely WALK. That said, water certainly isn’t going to prevent them from chasing after you. I imagine they’d just walk on the bottom, so you’d be pretty much safe until you got to shallow waters, or until it was so crowded down there that they inadvertently made a zombie ladder up to your vulnerable little boat. The other thing is it’s definitely better than them being out of water, since they’ll not only rot faster but get nibbled on by fish and maybe some sharks if you’re lucky.

Q: What about zombie babies?

A: Well, human babies are obviously susceptible to the virus. They’d definitely be creepy, but I don’t think they’d be much of a threat. [Insert hilarious dead baby joke here for instructions on disposal.]

3 Responses to Reader Question: Basics

  1. Taylor Chase says:

    i agree with using the 22 rifle for 1 because it is a very common gun, i also have 1, 2 if you stumble across the adaption with the 20-35 round clip the 22 can fire about 10 shots a min. and honestly like the movies, lets face it unless you live in some crazy city like new york your not going to run into more than 10 zombies in 1 min, also the 22 is a very simple gun to maintain, and lightweight. AMMO, yeah it would be awesome to have some crazy military rifle, but lets face it wheres the ammo? you can find 22 ammo in walmart, also the 22 is a quite gun with low kickback. im glad i found some1 who agrees as well

  2. Anonymous says:

    from what i gather the zombie virus might be a form of mad cow disease…so like what im thinking is that if this does come about most ppl r gunna get infected and a gun such as the .22 wouldt be efective in my point of view mostly because zombies take awhile to kill so you want to get a fast gun that can still produce deadly results like taking the head off. that and i find some of your methods flawed im not going to go in depth right now cuz im on a psp typing this out

  3. Brayden says:

    i have a great way to kill zombie babies. drop them on there head.

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