1. For the last time. There is no such thing as fast zombies. Every single movie you are thinking of that includes them is either bullshit or not about zombies. Infected humans are very different; there is still hope to save them and they are much smarter. I’m not saying this is not scary – of course it is. But there are a lot of things that scare me, and that doesn’t mean I should use this blog to discuss spiders, clowns, or the emptiness of deep space. Alright?
Simon Pegg has a great blog post on this, and he agrees with me.
2. People that talk about how AWESOME zombies are, or how FUN it will be when they’re blowing off heads from their safe little roof perch drinking beer in the zombocalypse, or describe themselves as zombie FANS – I hate you. You are the epitome of everything that is wrong with society. YOU are the reason we will be screwed when the time comes, because you’re going to run out and try to fucking high five a zombie. Know what’s gonna happen? You’re going to be eaten. Alive. Screaming. Watching them pull out your guts and fight over them. Gross.
Also, do you know how unlikely it is that you’ll be prepared or calm enough to find a safe rooftop and an infinite amount of guns and ammo? Do you know how little your fake samurai sword above your fireplace is going to help you? Grow up.